You know, today I was going to write a blog about BB cream. I was going to detail the differences between a few different brands, give my opinion about which ones are the best and why, then describe to you how you can mix your own BB cream at home using a few simple products as Customized Foundation is always AMAZING. And I will eventually get back to that topic. But I just had a client come in and while she was in my chair, thru tears, she shared with me a recent circumstance in her Special Relationship where she found herself rejected, abandoned, and hurt. Ive known this woman for 30 years since we were kids. I guess you could say were friends; but she's also my client so this applies to her and to anyone else who sits in my chair. I will relate this topic to beauty as I see it and I hope anyone who reads this can relate. Ive certainly had my share of failed relationship attempts so I speak from experience when I say it can be painful, and life altering. But it doesn't have to be devastating.
You are not defined by the approval of your man, or significant other.
I dont care what you think you've done in your past. We are not defined by the mistakes we've made. Were not defined by our successes. Not by our status, lack there of or otherwise. Not by public opinion. Not by the size of your bank account.
While its tempting to look outside of ourselves, in our immediate environment, the people or circumstances in it, and attach ourselves to them and give them meaning (its in our nature as spirits growing in awareness to do this); until we finally realize that its futile at best and at its worst completely counter productive, even destructive at times, we will suffer. Circumstances in life are not static, they will change like the wind and sometimes because of us and sometimes not because of us. In truth you are defined only by your capacity to Love...and thats all.
When I say Love I do not mean your ability to love in the typical worldly capacity and not only your love for others. But your experience here, is ultimately defined by your capacity to Love yourself.
I dont mean get a freaking massage and pamper yourself. I mean your genuine capacity to see passed the bullshit of your perception and choose kindness and forgiveness for yourself. Your capacity to accept this life on its terms is a beginning. Recognize that we will never know everything there is to know and we will never be without the mistakes of this life; realizing surrender into humility is where your strength is; choosing and allowing surrenders subsequent relief for ourselves instead of forcing in pride or whatever the harder road of resistance and suffering. Then trust that your Value is inherent. Because it is. Its there you will recognize your capacity to love and consequently, your ability to receive it.
The result of this is that you wont allow any person to tell you what you deserve or don't deserve. I don't care who he is. You wont allow his reaction to his perception of you which is subjective and not reality btw, to dictate how you feel about yourself. You will not seek his approval, his acceptance or his love because you'll have enough of your own. When your self love is in place you will kindly and gently release this person from your life or you will kindly and gently show him a different way if he is willing. In either case, you wont be affected.
Any person who can condemn you for your past decisions on this journey isn't the man for you. Whether you realize it now, or 10 years from now when things inevitably falter from perfect and he cant handle it...Move on. You deserve better.
To my beautiful friend and client who is suffering from heartache today, I Love you. Im sorry honey...and Im here for you.